To Complain or Not to Complain: That is the Question

Does God want us to complain? James 5:9 tells us, “do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged: behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.” This passage talks about complaining against a person. I’m sure I have done this many times. However, this passage states clearly that God doesn’t want us to complain against people.

How about circumstances? I’ve complained about how hard something is or that someone else got credit when I should have received the credit or about drivers who rudely cut me off, making me have to slow down. When we complain about our circumstances, we are actually complaining about God because He is in control of all that we experience.

What does God’s word say about complaining about our circumstances? In the Old Testament, in Numbers chapter 11, we read about the people complaining that life was much better when they were back in Egypt. (Oh, how quickly we forget.) God was pretty strict about it when the people complained “of adversity in the hearing of the LORD; and when the LORD heard it, His anger was kindled and the fire of the LORD burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp.” Yep, God doesn’t like us complaining about circumstances.

But then I read Psalm 55:16-17. “As for me, I shall call upon God, and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, (that’s a lot of complaining) and He will hear my voice. He will redeem my soul in peace from the battle which is against me, for they are many who strive with me.” Wait a second. David wrote this, and he complained all day long. This seems to be contradictory to the other passages we examined.

One thing I have learned over the years is that if something seems contradictory, then that’s what I should study further because God never contradicts Himself in His word. Let’s dig in.

When I suffer with circumstances and people, I can make several choices. I might not say anything, but hold in anger about the situation, which can cause bitterness to spring up. I can say something in anger to a person, which can cause division. I can complain to others about my circumstances. Some might say, then, we should never complain at all.

But I think we can complain. I believe that David in Psalm 55 is coming to God to complain. In verse 1, he asks God to give ear to his prayer. In verse 2, David says, “I am restless in my complaint and am surely distracted”. We read in verses 12-15 that the person he was complaining to God about was a “familiar friend”. This was a deep wound, and his heart was in anguish over it (vs 4).

But David doesn’t go to others about this. He goes straight to God. He knows that he can cast his burden upon the LORD and He will sustain him. (vs 22) I believe God included this song from David in the Bible to show us it is okay to complain. To Him! Tell God your pain, your frustration, and your hurt.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-30 to “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy (pleasant) and My burden is light.” When things are hard, God doesn’t want us to stuff it down inside. That eventually bursts out in bitterness. He doesn’t want us to complain to others about circumstances or other people. (Just an aside, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you to share things with others. There’s a huge difference in expressing grief and complaining.) He wants us to run to Him. He can take your complaining. He can heal your hurts. He can give you rest.